Showing posts with label "Fratty" Friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label "Fratty" Friday. Show all posts

Friday, May 6, 2011

National Women's Health Week

Sunday is Mother's Day and the start of National Women's Health Week. Check out the resources available for the week, on the NPC website (and through the links below) and be sure to remind all the women in your life to make health a priority.
Check out the links below for materials that will help you plan events, reach out to the media and more.

Women's Health Week Fact Sheet
Women's Health Week Celebration Ideas
Checklist for Women's Health Week Event
Tips for Building an Event Partnership
Registering Your Women's Health Week Event
How-To-Guide for Media Outreach
Issuing and Using a Proclamation
For additional information on National Women's Health Week, visit www.womenshealth.gov/whw. 

Friday, April 29, 2011

Fraternal Thoughts has done it again..Is Vision the Most Overrated Leadership Skill?

another great article brought to you from Fraternal Thoughts blog.. Seriously, if you have not checked out this blog, take a moment to do so, and add it to your google reader!

Is Vision the Most Overrated Leadership Skill?

I could use your help here.  I think I've got this one figured out, but I could be totally wrong.

Like many of you reading this, I’ve long held the belief that being visionary is one of the defining characteristics of a good leader. It’s become such conventional wisdom that it’s the rare person who doesn’t begin his/her definition of a leader with vision.

I don’t know if age brings wisdom, but it does bring many opportunities to change one’s mind. At this point in my life, I believe that vision is overrated.

I’m not saying that vision is not important. It certainly can be. I just don’t see it (as some do) as the most important thing a leader does, or really a pre-requisite for leadership at all. In fact, there may be close to a dozen things I would encourage emerging leaders to develop before vision.

Vision is the sexy side of leadership. It’s usually represented as the big, dramatic moment. That’s probably why it gets so much play and too much hype. We can’t often recall history’s doers or implementers, but we certainly remember the visionaries. The problem here is that we begin to treat leaders as the singular heroes who can move mountains with words.

But, you may be wondering, what about Martin Luther King, Jr.? Isn’t he considered one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century, and isn’t that based upon his vision as described in the “I have a dream” speech? There is a reason that the MLK example is used over and over again. It was special. It was rare and one of a kind. Yes, MLK had a vision. But, it wasn’t his vision alone.

By the time he spoke, his vision had been talked about for decades: all people should be treated equal. He just found a different way to say it. So was it his ability to vision or his ability to communicate that really mattered?

Based on this example, I would encourage leaders to develop the ability to write poetically and speak emphatically before focusing on vision.

And – by invoking MLK only when we talk about visionary leadership, we are selling him short. That speech didn’t create the change he wanted. It was each moment when he, and thousands of his supporters, rolled up their sleeves and worked toward the vision that really mattered.

Isn’t visioning fairly easy as well? For something to be considered the most vital of leadership abilities, I think it needs to be more of a challenge than vision appears to be. At its core, it’s imagining an ideal future. We all do that every day. I can do it right now: “I want a world where every child has two parents devoted to his/her well-being.” It took me 5 seconds to come up with that. Does imagining that make me a leader? Of course not.

Any person can stand in a place and see a far distant destination. Isn’t the person that devises a way to get there more important?

Another problem with our love-affair with vision is that it gives our leaders far too easy a pathway to create radical change. As I grow older, I’m starting to observe that there are very few organizations that actually need radical change. What they need is discipline to their mission and their core values. Discipline is a much greater and much more challenging leadership skill than vision. All types of internal and external forces act against an organization, and it’s the disciplined leader that keeps the group focused on what counts.

Vision also tends to be very personal, and leadership is not. Vision is great for that individual who has the luxury to make an organization into whatever he or she wants it to be. What if that’s not your call? What if you lead a fraternity that has been around for over a century and has core values and purpose? Are you serving that organization best by being a visionary leader or by being a disciplined steward?

In addition, you have others working alongside you. You will likely need to build a collective vision with them. And so again, visioning is not the skill needed here - facilitation skills are.

So – for the educators – perhaps we need to stop asking our fraternity or sorority leaders questions like “what is your vision for your chapter” or “how would your chapter be if you could have it any way you wanted it?” Instead, maybe we should ask “how will you help your chapter fulfill its intended purpose?”

If leaders don’t need vision necessarily, what do they need? As opposed to vision, here are the types of things I would encourage the youngest of leaders to try and develop:

Strategic Thinking. This is the ability to take a big idea and consider all the factors acting in favor or in opposition to the idea. Then, it’s devising implementation strategies – steps to take – that will make the idea happen.

Communication Skills. As I mentioned above in reference to MLK, learn how to write both creatively and concisely. Learn also how to speak and listen in engaging ways.  While you do not need to be an extrovert to be a good leader, you do need to communicate well.

Relationship- Building. Have you ever experienced a leader who was big on ideas but couldn’t remember your name? Or someone who was better speaking from a podium than in one-on-one conversations? Did you want to follow those people? Learn how to develop authentic relationships with people long before you learn how to vision.

Critical Thinking. As you grow further as a leader and begin to get involved with complex organizations, you’ll find that instead of being called upon to create a vision, you’ll be more likely called upon to sort through an onslaught of visions and prioritize the most important ones. 

The list could go on and on. Listening skills, emotional intelligence, planning skills, negotiation, etc. I’m not sure how far it would take me to get to vision, but it would take a while.

What are your thoughts? Do we put too great an emphasis on vision for leaders?

Friday, April 22, 2011

Fratty Friday- Real issues collegiate women are facing..

Two very powerful videos for us to reflect upon today. 
Eating Disorders are a very real issue that many collegiate women deal with today.



if you know someone who is struggling with an Eating Disorder, please reach out, and partner with them on the issue. Together we can fight the issue, and find a solution
Thank you to our fraternal friends at Tri-Delta for the 2nd video

Friday, April 15, 2011

Fraternity is Like a Baseball Game

Another amazing article from Fraternal Thoughts Blog

The impending arrival of April signals the return of America’s pastime, the great sport of baseball.  There’s nothing like the smell of freshly cut grass joined together with the aroma of roasted peanuts.  The silence of winter is broken by the sound of a THWACK as wood bat meets cowhide ball, and the WHUMP of a fist pounding a freshly oiled glove until it’s ready to field a grounder.

I love baseball for many reasons, including its lessons about life, leadership, and fraternity.  Here are a few:

Moments of Consequence
While baseball is a team sport, it is full of moments of individual consequence.  Whereas in some team sports (e.g., soccer) it’s easy to be anonymous and hidden in lieu of the team, individuals often take center stage in baseball.  There are moments when a player can try to hide (think little league right-fielders), but they can’t stay hidden forever.  At some point, it will be their turn and they’ll stand at home plate with a bat in hand and the world watching.  And chances are for that batter, it will end badly.  A good batting average is .300.  This means that a great batter will strike out two-thirds of the time!

And so, while a player will have many moments when he makes contact with the ball and gets on base or even drives in a run, that same player will have more moments when he will take a long slow walk back to the dugout in defeated silence.  He let down his team.  It’s gut-wrenching.  Learning to handle that defeat and be resilient is one of the best character lessons baseball can teach. 

In fraternity, there are also moments of consequence; moments when the fraternity is counting on an individual player.  The intensity of the fraternity or sorority experience can create those gut-wrenching moments because you just don’t want to let your brothers or sisters down.  It could be falling short on a project, failing to meet academic standards, or making an unethical and haunting choice.

Of course, there will be moments of glorious success when a member can trot the bases as applause thunders around him.  But how about those times in which he fails?  How does he show his character in those moments? 

Moments of Glory, Moments of Sacrifice
It’s the bottom of the ninth inning with the score tied and two outs.  The star player comes to bat and the crowd is shouting for him to send the ball over the left field fence.  He obliges and launches a huge home run that wins the game.  The crowd goes wild as he soaks in the glory of a momentous occasion.

It’s the next night.  Again, it’s the bottom of the ninth inning, with the score tied and a runner on first.  There are no outs.  Th star player comes to bat and the crowd is shouting for him to send the baseball over the left field fence again.  As the first pitch comes, the star player crouches down and bunts to ball only a few feet in front of the plate.  It’s an easy out for the catcher who throws the ball to first.  Meanwhile, the runner who was on first was able to make it to second.  He is now in scoring position, meaning that all it takes is a base hit to bring him home. 

The star player did the furthest thing from hitting a home run, but the crowd still applauds loudly as he returns to the dugout.  Why?  He just sacrificed his success so that the team had a better chance to win.

The next batter gets a base hit, the runner scores, and the game is won.

A fraternity can be a wonderful vehicle for individual achievement and glory.  In fact, there is no sweeter feeling than succeeding in the company of your brothers or sisters. 

A fraternity can also be a wonderful vehicle for invidual sacrifice.  We all take an oath to an organization that we are expected to care for.  Fraternity helps us learn the power and satisfaction of contributing to a cause greater than our own self interests.

In short, there will be times to bunt and times to knock it out of the park.

Many Different Strengths Lead to Success
Babe Ruth, widely considered to be the best baseball player ever, had a body type closer to mine than Bo Jackson, and that’s not a compliment.  Baseball players succeed for many different reasons, all based upon the strengths they bring to the team.  Some, like Ricky Henderson, use lightning quick speed to be a terror on the bases.  Some, like Cecil Fielder, are as big as a sumo wrestler and can hit a ball into the next county.  Others, like Derek Jeter, use their reflexes to field any ball that comes their way.  And even others, like Cal Ripken, Jr. have such good hand-eye coordination that they rarely strike out.

A good manager will use players with particular strengths at opportune times.  If he needs a runner to steal a base, he bring in a speedy pinch runner.  If a left-handed pitcher has a better chance of striking out the batter, he’ll call to the bullpen. 

There is also a science to how managers make out their batting order so that strengths are maximized.

In the same way, good fraternities allow their members to use their strengths as much as possible.  Those skilled at the art of conversation are on the front lines for recruitment.  Those who have strong fiscal sense excel as Treasurers.  Good writers can put together newsletters for the organization. There is no singular skill set for a good fraternity member. 

The Moments Between the Action
One of the primary reasons I love baseball as I grow older is the pace of play.  This is also why so many people hate baseball.  I admit, it can move pretty slow.  But, at some point in your life, you may agree with me that slow is something to cherish.

The slow moments are often the times when friendship is strengthened.  When you watch a baseball game, pay attention to when the cameras turn to the pitchers in the bullpen.  It’s rare when they aren’t smiling or laughing as they pass the time waiting for their turn.  The same can be said for the dugouts.  Camaraderie is very evident in baseball.

And there is a reason why baseball is still the best spectator sport for families and friends.  There is little to do between innings than to turn to that person sitting beside you in the tight quarters of a ballpark and just talk with them.  Fathers and mothers and sons and daughters and friends and neighbors taking the time for conversation.  Oh, how we need that more than ever.

The undergraduate fraternity experience is much more fast-paced than most people want or expect.  There is much to be gained by cherishing the moments “between innings” when there is nothing more to do than to sit next to a brother or sister and talk about life. 

For life, like a baseball game, is meant to be savored. 

So, those are a few reasons why I love baseball and even believe it should be considered the official sport of fraternity.  But, I’m biased.  It should be noted that baseball certainly has its share of problems as well.  The whole steroids issue is a sticky one, and I wrote about it a couple of years ago.

Despite those challenges, I will continue to watch and observe the great lessons the game can teach us.  Count me among those who get a little extra spring in their step as the air gets warmer, the skies get bluer, and baseball players across the land take the field.

Friday, April 8, 2011

hazing hurts

a great video from Phi Delta Theta

Friday, April 1, 2011

Greetings from the back row...

Fraternal Thoughts blog has done it again.. here is a great article recently posted on their blog


Greetings from the back row.

I’m the brother you hate. I’m apathetic. I’m lazy. I’m the one who contributes nothing worthwhile, except an occasional laugh from one of my sarcastic comments. I like to come to parties and a meeting every once in a while. My lack of attendance drives you crazy. So does my smokeless tobacco habit.

I’ve been referred to as Joe Spitcup. Mr. Apathy. Bluto. The
Chapter Idiot.

I wasn’t always this unlikable fellow you see before you. In fact, when I first joined the chapter, I was ready to go. I had a lot to offer. I was the captain of my high school’s wrestling team and served on the yearbook staff. I’ve been a leader in clubs before. I’ve been good to my friends, and great to my two little sisters. I’ve always considered myself to be one of the good guys.

So how did I get this way? How am I now sitting in the back row? You may assume that I was just a bad recruit; that I joined for the wrong reasons. Perhaps you think I’m just one of those jerks who will always be this way. Actually, I bet you stopped thinking about me long ago. I am a waste of your time. I’m an impediment, a roadblock.

I don’t blame you for thinking these things. This whole back row is full of guys that fit that description. It’s not me, but I’ve chosen to be with these guys. I’ve chosen the back row, and so I deserve the perception that comes along with it.

However, I didn’t choose the back row at first. I started in the front.

I used to sit up close. I was eager to participate. I wanted to matter. But then a series of things began to happen.

I once had an idea in a chapter meeting that someone else said was “fucking stupid.” At the next meeting, I sat a little further back.

There was another time when I volunteered to go to the IFC meeting for the chapter. I forgot to go, and our president was pissed. I don’t blame him. I felt terrible about it. I’m still learning how to be better organized in my life, but that’s not an excuse. Anyhow, I volunteered to make it up by going the next week, but it was decided to send someone else.

I really haven’t been asked to do anything since, and I haven’t really volunteered. I just decided to sit a little further back in the meetings.

At the next meeting, I received the “dumb-ass brother of the week award” for messing up that part in our initiation ritual. I laughed along with everyone, but I felt really uncomfortable. By the way, I have an idea for other awards we could give that might actually inspire some positive action. Let me know if you want any of those ideas. I don’t think they’re stupid.

Anyhow, I didn’t really want to be called out again for an award like that, and so at the next meeting, I sat a little further back.

Then there was the time at our Spring mixer when an older brother offered me a joint, and I tried it. You heard about that, and I think you’re comment was “great – another pothead.” I regretted doing it immensely (and instantly), but I didn’t want to admit that. I didn’t want to be seen as weak. I didn’t want to show how low my confidence level really is.

So, at our next meeting, I just sat a little further back.

And I found myself in the back row.

Since then, I really haven’t been a good brother. I stopped going to meetings. I found a group to hang out with who aren’t the best influence. I started playing the roles of “jock” and “big drinker” because at least they gave me an identity. I’m not what I expected to be, but at least I’m something.

The funny thing is, I joined a fraternity because I wanted to be better. I actually think I might be a lesser person because of it.


By the way, I’m not looking for sympathy or welfare. I’ve decided to be here in the back row. It’s not really your job to reach out to every low-contributing member of the chapter, or even acknowledge our presence. You’re busy, after all. You’ll be just fine paying no attention to me. 

I just wanted you to understand a few of the things that led to my life in the back row. Perhaps you can stop the next guy from drifting back here.

And I guess I also want you to know that if you were just to offer me a small invitation to engage, just a minor role or opportunity, I would do absolutely amazing things for this chapter. I would be the best member you could ask for. 

But I can’t expect that. I can’t even expect you to notice me anymore. After all, it’s quite a distance from where you are and where I sit. Here. In the back row.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Friday, March 18, 2011

In Defense of Fraternities: The Neglected Positive Qualities

Originally posted in The Tripod, on March 8, 2011. and written by Alex Champoux.. 

In the last two issues of the Tripod, there have been articles dealing with a recent incident at Cleo - a party with a questionable title - and their message seems to be pretty straightforward. Both articles voice a disapproval of the Greek system here at Trinity College, accusing it of fostering an environment where sexism, classism, and racism can flourish. Further, in their article, the faculty questions, "What do Cleo and the rest of the fraternities want to contribute to the culture of our campus?" Especially on the tail of articles like Ben Schacht's ('05) letter (9/22/09) calling for the abolition of fraternities (tying them to hate speech and homophobia), and multiple other such condemnations of Greek life, the faculty's letter (citing 30 years of attempted abolition of the Greeks) has more power as a condemnation of Greek life and feels more like an attack than kindly parental "advice." In short, the articles in the Tripod of late have been highly critical of the Greeks on campus, and have leveled the accusation that Greeks "add nothing to campus life except for perpetual mess and incidents ranging from drunken hijinks to sexual assault." This is patently false, based on outdated ideas, popular culture portrayals, and intolerant, inflexible opponents of Greek organizations. Not only do we contribute to the campus, but we are the contributor, the fount of campus leadership, the bastion of social change.

One of the simplest and easiest ways to show that Greek organizations on campus give back to the college and surrounding community is through each organization's devotion to volunteering and fundraising. Each Greek organization on campus participates in Do-It-Day, Habitrot for Humanity, Halloween on Vernon, Take Back the Night, and Relay for Life. Kappa Kappa Gamma works with ACES (Annual Community Events Staff), Achieve Hartford!, OPMAD (Organized Parents Make A Difference), and Making Strides. Alpha Delta Phi raised over $3,000 at the last Relay for Life and helps with after-school programs like Game Night in the Hartford public school system. Pi Kappa Alpha turned in 534 hours of volunteering last semester alone. The chair of Campus Climate and Campus Outreach are both Sigma Nu brothers. Zeta Omega Eta hosts a Young Women's Leadership Forum for middle-school aged girls, and has started its own program, "Fairy Godmother" to help clothe underprivileged girls. Psi Upsilon donates the proceeds of its annual "Tropical" party to deserving charities, and donated $2,500 to the Craig Hospital Foundation last year. The Ivy Society additionally participates in National Gordie Day and often dedicates its parties to specific causes - this Halloween's party proceeds went to the Susan G. Komen Breast Foundation. Cleo also participates in ACES and Campus Climate, like other organizations, but also has affiliations with Dream Camp and ConnPIRG. Theta Delta Sigma volunteers 15-20 hours a week at the Boys and Girls Club and is involved with Zeta in the formation of the Fairy Godmother Project.
As far as campus involvement goes, members of our college's Greek organizations represent a vast majority of those in leadership positions. We have dozens of mentors, TAs, RAs, and Pride leaders. There are five Greeks on SGA, including the President, and almost a third of the people on Honor Council are Greek members. Hillel, the Interfaith House, iHouse, the Fred, Praxis, the Tripod, AASA, WRTC, EROS, ACES, Habitat for Humanity, the Writing Center, Latin Dance Team, LVL, AMSA, the Mill, TCERT, and Commserv (encompassing other groups) all have Greek members (usually multiple per group). Our members participate in every athletic activity (many are captains) and we work in student jobs all over campus - we check out your library books, we fix your computers, we serve you your coffee, we help you with your homework, we sell you your tickets at Cinestudio.

In terms of making the campus a safer, more inclusive, more tolerant place, we all try to do our part. Almost every door in Cleo has a "Safe Zone" sticker on it, welcoming the campus to the safety of its zero-intolerance house. Pi Kappa Alpha brothers are required to go to the WAGRAC for a session on gender sensitivity and language awareness before they can join (and are encouraged to continue to go back), and the Pi Kappa Alpha house enforces a zero tolerance policy on hate speech. Theta Delta Sigma is founded on the tenets of raising diversity and cultural awareness, and Zeta Omega Eta is founded to pursue activist causes and promote feminist goals.

Our organizations also provide a forum for the College to participate in things that it would not normally be able. Greek organizations are often vilified for their role in the promotion of parties, but this ability to throw parties gives us a closer connection with the campus. Because of our unique position on the edge, a position that we suffer for, we are ideal for events like Conversation Over Cocktails - a safe and fun forum (the only one I know of) where students and faculty can get together in an organized way. We host the Senior class before its various dances, host parties for other organizations like Hillel and Praxis (Pi Kappa Alpha is planning a fundraiser party with Praxis to raise money for Christmas gifts for Hartford families), and host events like Halloween on Vernon. And we host parties. As the major party centers on campus, we provide a supervised place for parties to take place. At Pi Kappa Alpha, we require five to six sober monitors at every party to ensure the safety of our students, a policy that other Greeks, like Sigma Nu, are planning to adopt. Pi Kappa Alpha also requires that people drink exclusively from our own clear cups - therefore lessening the possibility of people using date-rape drugs or of people bringing in highly alcoholic beverages like grain alcohol. Every Greek organization controls the flow of alcohol in its house, eventually cutting people off, in an attempt to protect the student body from dangerous levels of intoxication.

The professors who lodge these complaints against the fraternities and sororities of Trinity College are not looking to have their perceptions of the Greeks changed - to them, a frat is a frat, a center for misogyny and racism, for classism and elitism, for drinking and drug use. The faculty doesn't want to acknowledge the good things that our Greeks do, doesn't want to admit that the TAs and mentors that they work with every day are Greek members. Because of past anti-Greek movements by the faculty, Pi Kappa Alpha, Zeta Omega Eta, and Theta Delta Sigma are all not recognized by the school despite their activism, and probably never will achieve affiliation, not to mention the multiple African-American fraternities and sororities that have been completely forced underground. The faculty has consistently shown that it does not want to get to know the Greek organizations better, and has consistently shown that it does not know them in the first place - evidenced clearly when they said, of Cleo (50/50 male/female), "boys will be boys." When it comes down to dialogue, to using the Greeks as the invaluable resource that they are, the faculty is ready to categorically refuse collaboration because of their own prejudices, and to ignore the potential benefits of cooperation.

Our Greek organizations all require a certain standard of their members, and require that we expect more of ourselves than other students. We support each other and push each other to excel, creating an environment that encourages civic-mindedness and leadership. We instill in our members a sense of wrong and right, of tolerance, and of friendship. Nonetheless, stereotypes still plague our every foray into the public scene, and public opinion of Greek life has forced us, in past years and in the present, to begin to revolutionize the way we operate. We are forced not only to disprove the stereotypes, but to be proactive and actively make a difference - both by public opinion and our own compulsion to act upon our high ideals. We are there, day in and day out, volunteering and being active on campus, leading in the classroom, on the sports field, and around Hartford. If only the faculty could claim as much involvement...

Friday, March 11, 2011

Develop Positive Sorority Relationships

originally posted The Fraternity Advisor.com

There is no doubt that building a positive image for sororities is a huge plus for a fraternity. Most membership levels in sororities dwarf those of fraternities. It is so difficult to get in good with a sorority that it would be foolish to take that relationship for granted. However, you would be surprised at how easy it is to kill years of goodwill with just one negative interaction.

For example, a brother in my fraternity was dating a girl from a sorority. The sorority was having their once-a-year formal event, and some of the girls needed dates. My fraternity had always been on good terms with the sorority, so the girlfriend asked my brother if any of the other brothers wanted to go to the formal. Three accepted the offer.

Before the event, the four brothers were pre-gaming with the sorority sisters. Everything was going fine and everyone was having a good time. One of the brothers seemed to be drinking a little too heavy, but no one seemed to notice.

Anyway, the formal was a great time for everyone. The four couples went back to one of the sister’s apartments to conclude the evening. That is when a long night of drinking hit my fraternity brother. He ended up puking on her bedroom floor and pulled a light fixture off the wall. Needless to say, a night filled with promise did not end well.

After that night relations with the sorority were never the same. Our fraternity did everything they could do try to fix the damage done, but to no avail.

This goes to show how fragile relationships can be with sororities, and how it is essential every brother realizes it and acts accordingly.

Great article that makes both collegiate and alumnae members realize that one night of actions be it at a greek function or not can be something the reflect upon your organization for years... 

Friday, March 4, 2011

Is Vision the Most Overrated Leadership Skill?

  Great article from the Fraternal Thoughts blog.... 

I could use your help here.  I think I've got this one figured out, but I could be totally wrong.

Like many of you reading this, I’ve long held the belief that being visionary is one of the defining characteristics of a good leader. It’s become such conventional wisdom that it’s the rare person who doesn’t begin his/her definition of a leader with vision.

I don’t know if age brings wisdom, but it does bring many opportunities to change one’s mind. At this point in my life, I believe that vision is overrated.

I’m not saying that vision is not important. It certainly can be. I just don’t see it (as some do) as the most important thing a leader does, or really a pre-requisite for leadership at all. In fact, there may be close to a dozen things I would encourage emerging leaders to develop before vision.

Vision is the sexy side of leadership. It’s usually represented as the big, dramatic moment. That’s probably why it gets so much play and too much hype. We can’t often recall history’s doers or implementers, but we certainly remember the visionaries. The problem here is that we begin to treat leaders as the singular heroes who can move mountains with words.

But, you may be wondering, what about Martin Luther King, Jr.? Isn’t he considered one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century, and isn’t that based upon his vision as described in the “I have a dream” speech? There is a reason that the MLK example is used over and over again. It was special. It was rare and one of a kind. Yes, MLK had a vision. But, it wasn’t his vision alone.

By the time he spoke, his vision had been talked about for decades: all people should be treated equal. He just found a different way to say it. So was it his ability to vision or his ability to communicate that really mattered?

Based on this example, I would encourage leaders to develop the ability to write poetically and speak emphatically before focusing on vision.

And – by invoking MLK only when we talk about visionary leadership, we are selling him short. That speech didn’t create the change he wanted. It was each moment when he, and thousands of his supporters, rolled up their sleeves and worked toward the vision that really mattered.

Isn’t visioning fairly easy as well? For something to be considered the most vital of leadership abilities, I think it needs to be more of a challenge than vision appears to be. At its core, it’s imagining an ideal future. We all do that every day. I can do it right now: “I want a world where every child has two parents devoted to his/her well-being.” It took me 5 seconds to come up with that. Does imagining that make me a leader? Of course not.

Any person can stand in a place and see a far distant destination. Isn’t the person that devises a way to get there more important?

Another problem with our love-affair with vision is that it gives our leaders far too easy a pathway to create radical change. As I grow older, I’m starting to observe that there are very few organizations that actually need radical change. What they need is discipline to their mission and their core values. Discipline is a much greater and much more challenging leadership skill than vision. All types of internal and external forces act against an organization, and it’s the disciplined leader that keeps the group focused on what counts.

Vision also tends to be very personal, and leadership is not. Vision is great for that individual who has the luxury to make an organization into whatever he or she wants it to be. What if that’s not your call? What if you lead a fraternity that has been around for over a century and has core values and purpose? Are you serving that organization best by being a visionary leader or by being a disciplined steward?

In addition, you have others working alongside you. You will likely need to build a collective vision with them. And so again, visioning is not the skill needed here - facilitation skills are.

So – for the educators – perhaps we need to stop asking our fraternity or sorority leaders questions like “what is your vision for your chapter” or “how would your chapter be if you could have it any way you wanted it?” Instead, maybe we should ask “how will you help your chapter fulfill its intended purpose?”

If leaders don’t need vision necessarily, what do they need? As opposed to vision, here are the types of things I would encourage the youngest of leaders to try and develop:

Strategic Thinking. This is the ability to take a big idea and consider all the factors acting in favor or in opposition to the idea. Then, it’s devising implementation strategies – steps to take – that will make the idea happen.

Communication Skills. As I mentioned above in reference to MLK, learn how to write both creatively and concisely. Learn also how to speak and listen in engaging ways.  While you do not need to be an extrovert to be a good leader, you do need to communicate well.

Relationship- Building. Have you ever experienced a leader who was big on ideas but couldn’t remember your name? Or someone who was better speaking from a podium than in one-on-one conversations? Did you want to follow those people? Learn how to develop authentic relationships with people long before you learn how to vision.

Critical Thinking. As you grow further as a leader and begin to get involved with complex organizations, you’ll find that instead of being called upon to create a vision, you’ll be more likely called upon to sort through an onslaught of visions and prioritize the most important ones. 

The list could go on and on. Listening skills, emotional intelligence, planning skills, negotiation, etc. I’m not sure how far it would take me to get to vision, but it would take a while.

What are your thoughts? Do we put too great an emphasis on vision for leaders?

Friday, February 25, 2011

The person next to you..


A great poem as posted on the Fraternal Thoughts blog.. The poem was written by Prissy Galagarian, In regards to fraternity, this poem speaks to about relationships, brotherhood/sisterhood, and the ability that fraternity gives us to truly know each other.

The Person Next To You

The person next to you is the greatest miracle
and the greatest mystery you will ever
meet at this moment.

The person next to you is an inexhaustible
reservoir of possibility,
desire and dread,
smiles and frowns, laughter and tears,
fears and hopes,
all struggling to find expression.

The person next to you believes in something,
stands for something, counts for something,
lives for something, labors for something,
waits for something, runs from something,
runs to something.

The person next to you has problems and fears,
wonders how they’re doing,
is often undecided and unorganized
and painfully close to chaos!
Do they dare speak of it to you?

The person next to you can live with you
not just alongside you,
not just next to you.

The person next to you is a part of you.
for you are the person next to them.


Friday, February 18, 2011

Accepting Pathways in the Grass

I LOVE LOVE this article, it was originally posted on the Fraternal Thoughts blog, but reminds me of all of the random pathways across Landis Green at FSU....

The campus groundskeeper stood at the top floor of the administration building and looked out the window. The building sat in the middle of the college, which gave him a wonderful view of the beautiful campus he maintained. It was Spring, and he had laid new green turf throughout the grounds. The campus design was simple: stately red brick buildings surrounding a wide expanse of open space, which was laid out as a grid of grass and sidewalks. Students could travel North or South, or East or West, with ease.

And then he saw it. At first, he wasn’t sure it was real. Perhaps it was a streak in the glass of the window, or a mirage of some sort. Once he realized that it was truly what he thought it was, he dropped his cup of coffee on the ground. He looked closer, and then began to look more closely all around. Soon he realized that they were everywhere! His lovely campus was being ruined! Those damn lazy students were cutting diagonal lines through the grass, leaving brown dirt paths in the middle of his lovely green turf.

“Use the sidewalks!” he shouted to no one in particular but the window. He immediately placed a call to his crew, and they placed new sod, seed, and fences up so that the grass would grow back over the paths. A month later, he removed the fences, hoping that they had made the point. “The students will not win!” he thought. An hour later, students began cutting diagonally through the grass and the dirt paths reemerged. The groundskeeper gave up. He was close to retirement and sadly lamented what he saw as the ugly campus grounds until the day he left.

A new groundskeeper was hired, and one day was standing in the same place the retired groundskeeper had once stood, looking out upon the campus. He too noticed the dirt paths that had been worn into the ground, but he didn’t see them as ugly or intrusive. He also placed a phone call in response.

A month later, the brown dirt paths had been covered by sidewalks.

Is cutting across a lawn instead of using the sidewalk an act of defiance? Not really. But the story does provide a fairly good analogy for how we – as professionals that work with college students – view their actions and decisions. Administrators often believe that they have laid out the best path for students, and are perplexed when a different path is chosen. Administrators then stand their ground, channel their deepest Dean Wormer, and try to put the students back on the “correct” path.

And the students, innocently free from notions of bureaucracy, legislation, rules, and legalities, calmly say in return: “Uhh, I see the sidewalks you laid out for me, but it’s a lot faster to go this way.”

And administrators have a choice in this moment, just like the groundskeepers in the story above. Way too often, the choice we make is to ignore the students, stick to the sidewalks we have created, and stubbornly demand they use them.

This is our usual response to the defiance and/or rebelliousness of our students. What if the next time you were faced with that choice, you took a deep breath, swallowed a little pride, and said, “Maybe the students are on to something.”

Years ago, fans at Duke basketball games had the reputation of being mean and nasty to opposing teams and fans. Embarrassingly so. The university president was faced with a choice: use his power and authority to squash this problem, or, find a way to embrace it. Whereas 99% of administrators in his position would have fired off a tersely-worded letter or statement that condemned the acts and laid out a terrifying set of consequences for anyone who acted out, Terry Sanford (or Uncle Terry as he was called) instead wrote a different kind of letter. He celebrated the enthusiasm of the fans, and asked them to channel it into a force for good:
"I don't think we need to be crude and obscene to be effectively enthusiastic. We can cheer and taunt with style: that should be the Duke trademark."

"I suggest that we change. Talk this matter over in your various residential houses. Think of something clever but clean, devastating but decent, mean but wholesome, witty and forceful but G-rated for television, and try it at the next game."
The results are infamous. The Cameron Crazies at Duke are now known for their very tenacious yet polite cheers. For instance, when a referee misses a call, the preferred chant is "We beg to differ!"

Another example. When I was a senior at Miami in 1998, there was a “riot” of students in the center of town late one night. I don’t remember what sparked it, but eventually hundreds of students took to the streets to party, cause damage, and be obnoxious. A year later, the anniversary of this event was approaching and there were rumors of a second riot. A moment of choice. Most universities would have imposed some draconian rules on alcohol or parties, doubled the police presence, and had suspensions ready to hand out as quickly as candy at a parade. Miami made a different choice. They invited a core group of students to design and carry out an outdoor rally and festival to be held on the anniversary night at the site of the riot. There were bands and activities. The streets were full of students who had left the bars and found something pretty cool waiting outside. The Red Brick Rally became an annual tradition.

In each of these examples, the administrators noticed something in the students – a spirit that they wanted to put to a productive use. They saw the dirt paths coming, and put usable sidewalks in their place.

So, how do we celebrate and use the defiance that’s in the DNA of our fraternities and sororities?

First, we can put students in a position to use that defiant spirit for good. Let's pledge to stop using students on committees or task forces simply as tokens. Let's give them significant work, like crafting policy and strategic plans. When they vocally disagree with an idea, let’s resist the inclination to think “they just don’t understand,” and instead think “maybe we just don’t understand.”

We can also encourage grassroots movements. There are students all over our campuses that send signals of rebellion, but their passions never get off the ground. The next student who volunteers his/her disdain for hazing should be encouraged to move their conviction to action. The next student that asks you what you're doing about the poor fraternity grade report should be answered with, "I've been waiting for you."

We can be willing to be wrong. To be honest, now that I have stepped away from campus work for a while, I look back at some of the policies I treated as gospel and I laugh. Now, I wish I had handed them over to the student leaders I advised and gave them the chance to rewrite them so they worked better. I recently consulted with a university in which a major battle of wills had erupted between the IFC and the university staff over an event authorization process. Is that worth a major battle? An event authorization process? Sometimes we are wrong and we need to happily admit it. Sometimes we are right, but that shouldn't make us inflexible.

Finally, we can simply and calmly accept this defiant spirit for what it is - an inherent trait that breathes life into fraternities and sororities. It can give us headaches and heartburn. It can also make our work less efficient and messier. But, it also keeps us accountable. It encourages innovation. It can make life more playful and spirited. It can help those of us who have allowed policies, rules, regulations, and bureaucracy to rule our work remember that we shouldn't take those things too seriously.

It may even make us radically change the way we do our work. But that's okay.

After all, we may just have defiance in our DNA as well.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Poll: Is a Fraternity/Sorority Super Bowl Ad a Good Idea?

This was origionally posted on Fraternal Thoughts blog.. We would love to hear your thoughts..

Occasionally, entities like the NIC, NPC, NPHC, or NALFO get asked to consider purchasing a Super Bowl ad in order to change public perception of Greek-letter organizations. This has become symbolic for the attitude that many carry that we need to use high-profile advertising mechanisms to improve our image and/or recruit new members.

The opposing view is that it would be a waste of money and that advertising techniques will have little to no effect on public perception. Many argue that only a change in behavior will make the difference.

What are your thoughts? Companies spend millions on Super Bowl ads and traditional advertising, so it must have some sort of positive impact, right? Should the fraternity movement try this technique, or are our limited resources better used elsewhere? Take the poll and please add your comments.

By the way, In 2010, the average cost of a 30-second commercial during the Super Bowl was approximately $3.01 million.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Mental Health Needs Seen Growing at Colleges

As you know the "Fratty Friday" posts discuss greek life both on the campus of Florida State and trends across the nation. As this article, from NY Times illustrates, the number of students attending college with Mental Health issues is growing. If you identify with this article or you have a friend or sister who does, please contact the counseling center, a doctor or another adult/advisor for help.

By TRIP GABRIEL
STONY BROOK, N.Y. — Rushing a student to a psychiatric emergency room is never routine, but when Stony Brook University logged three trips in three days, it did not surprise Jenny Hwang, the director of counseling.

It was deep into the fall semester, a time of mounting stress with finals looming and the holiday break not far off, an anxiety all its own.

On a Thursday afternoon, a freshman who had been scraping bottom academically posted thoughts about suicide on Facebook. If I were gone, he wrote, would anybody notice? An alarmed student told staff members in the dorm, who called Dr. Hwang after hours, who contacted the campus police. Officers escorted the student to the county psychiatric hospital.

There were two more runs over that weekend, including one late Saturday night when a student grew concerned that a friend with a prescription for Xanax, the anti-anxiety drug, had swallowed a fistful.
On Sunday, a supervisor of residence halls, Gina Vanacore, sent a BlackBerry update to Dr. Hwang, who has championed programs to train students and staff members to intervene to prevent suicide.
“If you weren’t so good at getting this bystander stuff out there,” Ms. Vanacore wrote in mock exasperation, “we could sleep on the weekends.”

Stony Brook is typical of American colleges and universities these days, where national surveys show that nearly half of the students who visit counseling centers are coping with serious mental illness, more than double the rate a decade ago. More students take psychiatric medication, and there are more emergencies requiring immediate action.

“It’s so different from how people might stereotype the concept of college counseling, or back in the ’70s students coming in with existential crises: who am I?” said Dr. Hwang, whose staff of 29 includes psychiatrists, clinical psychologists and social workers. “Now they’re bringing in life stories involving extensive trauma, a history of serious mental illness, eating disorders, self-injury, alcohol and other drug use.”

Experts say the trend is partly linked to effective psychotropic drugs (Wellbutrin for depression, Adderall for attention disorder, Abilify for bipolar disorder) that have allowed students to attend college who otherwise might not have functioned in a campus setting.

There is also greater awareness of traumas scarcely recognized a generation ago and a willingness to seek help for those problems, including bulimia, self-cutting and childhood sexual abuse.
The need to help this troubled population has forced campus mental health centers — whose staffs, on average, have not grown in proportion to student enrollment in 15 years — to take extraordinary measures to make do. Some have hospital-style triage units to rank the acuity of students who cross their thresholds. Others have waiting lists for treatment — sometimes weeks long — and limit the number of therapy sessions.

Some centers have time only to “treat students for a crisis, bandaging them up and sending them out,” said Denise Hayes, the president of the Association for University and College Counseling Center Directors and the director of counseling at the Claremont Colleges in California.
“It’s very stressful for the counselors,” she said. “It doesn’t feel like why you got into college counseling.”
A recent survey by the American College Counseling Association found that a majority of students seek help for normal post-adolescent trouble like romantic heartbreak and identity crises. But 44 percent in counseling have severe psychological disorders, up from 16 percent in 2000, and 24 percent are on psychiatric medication, up from 17 percent a decade ago.

The most common disorders today: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, alcohol abuse, attention disorders, self-injury and eating disorders.

Stony Brook, an academically demanding branch of the State University of New York (its admission rate is 40 percent), faces the mental health challenges typical of a big public university. It has 9,500 resident students and 15,000 who commute from off-campus. The highly diverse student body includes many who are the first in their families to attend college and carry intense pressure to succeed, often in engineering or the sciences. A Black Women and Trauma therapy group last semester included participants from Africa, suffering post-traumatic stress disorder from violence in their youth.

Stony Brook has seen a sharp increase in demand for counseling — 1,311 students began treatment during the past academic year, a rise of 21 percent from a year earlier. At the same time, budget pressures from New York State have forced a 15 percent cut in mental health services over three years.
Dr. Hwang, a clinical psychologist who became director in July 2009, has dealt with the squeeze by limiting counseling sessions to 10 per student and referring some, especially those needing long-term treatment for eating disorders or schizophrenia, to off-campus providers.

But she has resisted the pressure to offer only referrals. By managing counselors’ workloads, the center can accept as many as 60 new clients a week in peak demand between October and the winter break.
“By this point in the semester to not lose hope or get jaded about the work, it can be a challenge,” Dr. Hwang said. “By the end of the day, I go home so adrenalized that even though I’m exhausted it will take me hours to fall asleep.”

For relief, she plays with her 2-year-old daughter, and she has taken up the guitar again.

Shifting to Triage
Near the student union in the heart of campus, the Student Health Center building dates from the days when a serious undergraduate health problem was mononucleosis. But the hiring of Judy Esposito, a social worker with experience counseling Sept. 11 widows, to start a triage unit three years ago was a sign of the new reality in student mental health.

At 9 a.m. on the Tuesday after the campus’s very busy weekend, Ms. Esposito had just passed the Purell dispenser by the entrance when she noticed two colleagues hurrying toward her office. Before she had taken off her coat, they were updating her about a junior who had come in the previous week after cutting herself and expressing suicidal thoughts.

Ms. Esposito’s triage team fields 15 to 20 requests for help a day. After brief interviews, most students are scheduled for a longer appointment with a psychologist, which leads to individual treatment. The one in six who do not become patients are referred to other university departments like academic advising, or to off-campus therapists if long-term help is needed. There are no charges for on-campus counseling.
This day the walk-ins included a young man complaining of feeling friendless and depressed. Another student said he was struggling academically, feared that his parents would find out and was drinking and feeling hopeless.

Professionals in a mental health center are mindful of their own well-being. For this reason the staff had planned a potluck holiday lunch. While a turkey roasted in the kitchen that serves as the break room, Ms. Esposito helped warm up candied yams, stuffing and the store-bought quiche that was her own contribution.

Just then Regina Frontino, the triage assistant who greets walk-ins at the front desk, swept into the kitchen to say a student had been led in by a friend who feared that she was suicidal.

Ms. Esposito rushed to the lobby. From a brief conversation, she knew that the distraught student would have to go to the hospital. The counseling center does not have the ability to admit suicidal or psychotic students overnight for observation or to administer powerful drugs to calm them. It arranges for them to be taken to the Stony Brook University Medical Center, on the far side of the 1,000-acre campus. The hospital has a 24-hour psychiatric emergency room that serves all of Suffolk County.

“They’re not going to fix what’s going on,” Ms. Esposito said, “but in that moment we can ensure she’s safe.” She called Tracy Thomas, an on-call counselor, to calm the student, who was crying intermittently, while she phoned the emergency room and informed Dr. Hwang, who called the campus police to transport the young woman.

When Ms. Esposito heard the crackle of police radios in the hallway, she went to tell the student for the first time that she would have to go to the hospital.

“This is not something students love to do,” Ms. Esposito recounted. The young woman told her she did not want to go. Ms. Esposito replied that the staff was worried for her safety, and she repeated the conversation she had had earlier with the young woman:
Are you having thoughts about wanting to die?
Yes.
Are you afraid you are actually going to kill yourself?
Yes.

She invited a police officer into the counseling room, and the student teared up again at the sight of him. Ms. Esposito assured her that she was not in trouble. Meanwhile, an ambulance crew arrived with a rolling stretcher, but the young woman walked out on her own with the officers.
Because Ms. Thomas, a predoctoral intern in psychology, now needed to regain her own equilibrium before seeing other clients, Ms. Esposito debriefed her about what had just happened.
Finally she returned to her office, having missed the holiday lunch, and found that her team had prepared a plate for her.

“It’s kind of like firemen,” she said. “When the fire’s on, we are just at it. But once the fire’s out, we can go back to the house and eat together and laugh.”

Reaching Out
Even though the appointment books of Stony Brook counselors are filled, all national evidence suggests that vastly more students need mental health services.
Forty-six percent of college students said they felt “things were hopeless” at least once in the previous 12 months, and nearly a third had been so depressed that it was difficult to function, according to a 2009 survey by the American College Health Association.
Then there is this: Of 133 student suicides reported in the American College Counseling Association’s survey of 320 institutions last year, fewer than 20 had sought help on campus.

Alexandria Imperato, 23, remembers that as a Stony Brook freshman all her high school friends were talking about how great a time they were having in college, while she felt miserable. She faced family issues and the pressure of adjusting to college. “You go home to Thanksgiving dinner, and the family asks your brother how is his gerbil, and they ask you, ‘What are doing with the rest of your life?’ ” Ms. Imperato said.

She learned she had clinical depression. She eventually conquered it with psychotherapy, Cymbalta and lithium. She went on to form a Stony Brook chapter of Active Minds, a national campus-based suicide-prevention group.

“I knew how much better it made me feel to find others,” said Ms. Imperato, who plans to be a nurse.
On recent day, she was one of two dozen volunteers in black T-shirts reading “Chill” who stopped passers-by in the Student Activities Center during lunch hour.

“Would you like to take a depression screening?” they asked, offering a clipboard with a one-page form to all who unplugged their ear buds. Students checked boxes if they had difficulty sleeping, felt hopeless or “had feelings of worthlessness.” They were offered a chance to speak privately with a psychologist in a nearby office. Sixteen said yes.

The depression screenings are part of a program to enlist students to monitor the mental health of peers, which is run by the four-year-old Center for Outreach and Prevention, a division of mental health services that Dr. Hwang oversaw before her promotion to director of all counseling services.
She is committed to outreach in its many forms, including educating dormitory staff members to recognize students in distress and encouraging professors to report disruptive behavior in class.
In previous years, more than 1,000 depression screenings were given to students, with 22 percent indicating signs of major depression. Dr. Hwang credits that and other outreach efforts to the swell of new cases for counseling. “For a lot of people it’s terrifying” to come to the counseling center, she said. “If there’s anything we can do to make it easier to walk in, I feel like we owe it to them.”
Stony Brook has not had a student suicide since spring 2009, unusual for a campus its size. But Dr. Hwang is haunted by the impact on the campus of several off-campus student deaths in accidents and a homicide in the past year. “With every vigil, with every conversation with someone in pain, there’s this overwhelming sense of we need to learn something,” she said. “I think about these parents who’ve invested so much into getting their kids alive to 18.”

One student who said yes to an impromptu interview with a counselor after filling out a depression screening was a psychology major, a senior from upstate New York. As it happened, Dr. Hwang had wandered over from the counseling center to check on the screenings, and the young woman spent a long time conferring with her, never removing her checked coat or backpack.

“I don’t have motivation for things anymore,” the student said afterward. “This place just depresses me the whole time.”

She had been unaware that students could walk in unannounced to the counseling center. “I thought you had to make an appointment,” she said. “Yes,” she said, “I’ll do that.”