Fraternity Hazing

www.stophazing.org  is a great website, that works to educate readers to stop hazing, not just in fraternities, but in all realms of life. Below is a blurb from their landing page. We encourage all collegians and alumnae to check out the website, and sign the petition to stop hazing!!!

When most people hear the term "hazing" it conjures up images of fraternities. In reality however, hazing occurs in many arenas including fraternities and sororities, the military, athletic teams and student organizations (like marching bands) at both the high school and collegiate levels. Many believe that hazing in fraternities and in general is nothing more than silly antics and harmless pranks like those remembered from the 1980s hit comedy Animal House. The realities of hazing are dramatically different than the humorous images many people associate with the term. Hazing is an abuse of power that can have debilitating and life-threatening consequences. According to the research presented by Hank Nuwer (1990), journalist and author of several books related to hazing, hazing has been associated with more than 50 deaths in college fraternities and countless more physical injuries including paralysis, not to mention the devastating emotional effects that can result for so many young men and women.

More Information: Links Directory on Fraternity Hazing.

Eileen Stevens, a mother (and now grandmother) from New York lost her eldest son Chuck Stenzel in 1978 when he was a victim of hazing at Klan Alpine, a fraternity at Alfred University. One evening, the older fraternity brothers came to the dorms to pick up pledges (including Chuck who was a strong athletic young man) and bring them back to the fraternity house for a party. That night, Chuck died and the coroner told Ms. Stevens that the cause was alcohol poisoning. The fraternity and the university refused to accept responsibility or provide a thorough investigation. Incredulous, Eileen set out to investigate on her own. Over the next few weeks and months, Stevens refused to give up her quest to find out the truth. While she was stonewalled at nearly every turn by the institution and the fraternity, witnesses eventually came forward to share details of the night's events. Eventually, Eileen had a much clearer picture of what had happened to her son that fateful night. As it turned out, Chuck and two other pledges were locked in the trunk of a car and were allegedly given a pint of Jack Daniels, a 6-pack of beer and a quart of wine and was told to consume it all by the time the car stopped. Later, the pledges were coerced to drink even more at the fraternity house until many passed out. 

When Chuck passed out, he was carried upstairs and left on a mattress where he ceased breathing soon afterward (Adapted from Broken Pledges, Nuwer 1990).
Eileen Steven's story is not the only one of such tragic proportions. Far too many parents have been awakened in the night to receive the devastating news of the loss of their child to hazing. For example, many are familiar with the devastating death of Scott Krueger a promising young freshman who died of alcohol poisoning while pledging a fraternity at MIT in the Fall of 1997. That same year, Binaya Oja died of alcohol poisoning while pledging a fraternity at Clarkson University and in 1992 Jonathan McNamara was killed after falling from a cliff while participating in a pledge outing. Tragically, these are not the only incidents of this kind. The most up-to-date and comprehensive account of such tragedies is summarized in Wrongs of Passage (1999).

The story of Eileen Stevens and her son Chuck is familiar to some as it was detailed in the book and subsequent television movie Broken Pledges. The story describes Eileen's courageous battle to uncover the true cause of her son's death and to educate others about the realities of hazing. Stevens' tenacity in the face of such tragedy--her refusal to accept the notion that the fraternity had no responsibility for her son's death--resulted in a host of controversy and public attention to the issue. Her efforts to educate and eliminate such dangerous traditions eventually led to the passage of an anti-hazing law in the state of NY. Eileen's anger and grief were channeled, at least in part, to her amazing public awareness campaign that began in the state of NY and eventually spanned the country. Eileen's compassion influenced thousands of lives as she told her story to student groups, university staff, faculty and administrators at hundreds of campuses as well as national meetings of fraternities and sororities over a 20-year period.

One of the most commonly asked questions about hazing in fraternities is why do young men and women participate in such horrific and life-threatening activities just to belong to a group? This seems like a reasonable question--but it reveals the lack of understanding about the dynamics of the hazing process. For example, many states that have passed legislation to prohibit hazing have recognized that the intensity of the peer pressure prevents hazing victims from providing true consent to participate in the activities in question. Additionally, many prospective members don't realize and are not informed of what the pledging process and hazing will entail because this information is shrouded in secrecy by the brotherhood. This, combined with the increasing severity of the hazing over the weeks and months of the pledging process places the pledge in a very vulnerable position and hence, more susceptible to victimization. Compounding these dynamics in fraternities and other male groups is the desire for the pledge or prospective member to "be tough," "stick it out" etc. and prove his masculinity rather than risk being identified as a wimp or sissy.

What Can Communities do to Prevent Domestic Violence?

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• Expand education and awareness efforts to increase positive attitudes toward nonviolence and encourage individuals to report family violence.
• Form or task forces to assess the problem, develop an action plan, and monitor progress.
• Mandate training in domestic violence for all social services and criminal justice professionals.
• Advocate laws and judicial procedures at the state and local levels that support and protect battered women.
• Establish centers where visits between batterers and their children may be supervised, for the children's safety.
• Fund shelters adequately.
• Recruit and train volunteers to staff hotlines, accompany victims to court, and provide administrative support to shelters and victim services.
• Improve collection of child support.
• Establish medical protocols to help physicians and other health care personnel identify and help victims of domestic abuse.
• Provide legal representation for victims of domestic violence.
• Advocate for the accessibility of services for all population groups, especially underserved populations which include immigrants and refugees, gays and lesbians, racial and ethnic minorities and the disabled.

Adapted from: "Preventing Violence Against Women: Not Just A Women's Issue," the National Crime Prevention Council, 1995. 

information found here

Teasing, Bulling and Hazing.. and educational video

What is a Safety Plan?

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Every individual in an abusive relationship needs a safety plan. Shelters and crisis counselors have been urging safety plans for years, and police departments, victim services, hospitals, and courts have adopted this strategy. Safety plans should be individualized -- for example, taking account of age, marital status, whether children are involved, geographic location, and resources available -- but still contain common elements.

When creating a safety plan:

• Think about all possible escape routes. Doors, first-floor windows, basement exits, elevators, stairwells. Rehearse if possible.
• Choose a place to go. To the home of a friend or relative who will offer unconditional support, or a motel or hotel, or a shelter - most importantly somewhere you will feel safe.
• Pack a survival kit. Money for cab fare, a change of clothes, extra house and car keys, birth certificates, passports, medications and copies of prescriptions, insurance information, checkbook, credit cards, legal documents such as separation agreements and protection orders, address books, and valuable jewelry, and papers that show jointly owned assets. Conceal it in the home or leave it with a trusted neighbor, friend, or relative. Important papers can also be left in a bank deposit box.
• Try to start an individual savings account. Have statements sent to a trusted relative or friend.
• Avoid arguments with the abuser in areas with potential weapons. Kitchen, garage, or in small spaces without access to an outside door.
• Know the telephone number of the domestic violence hotline. Contact it for information on resources and legal rights.
• Review the safety plan monthly.

Adapted from: "Preventing Domestic Violence" by Laura Crites in Prevention Communique, March 1992, Crime Prevention Division, Department of the Attorney General, Hawaii.

information found here

a little Beta Eta Holiday love....

 The new member class of 2010, and soon to be alumnae initiate and two time Beta Eta mom, Mrs. Corso, decorate the house for the holidays! The house director provided cider, and Christmas music for the occasion!

Beta Eta Sister Urgently Needs Our Help

Dear Beta Eta Sisters,

We have a sister from pledge class '97 in dire need of our help. Due to her extreme circumstances she would like to remain anonymous, but she lives in a northern state that gets a lot of snow, and she is without the funds or resources to supply herself with some of the very basic necessities including winter clothing, toiletries, and money for medical needs. She recently had some truly horrifying things happen including a car accident that has resulted in her becoming a Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor also suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Initially she was very hesitant to share her situation with me, but I reassured her that we have sisters out there who would be willing to do whatever they could to assist. She agreed to let this be shared with you, knowing that we would not reveal anything she was uncomfortable sharing. Believe me, I cried when I read her emails and cannot for the life of me understand how one woman can endure so much in such a short period of time and still remain so optimistic, but she is certainly a Real. Strong. Woman. - and I admire her now more than ever.

So, before your gift-giving money runs out please consider our sister in need. I cannot think of anything more in the spirit of the season than helping one of our own. Even the smallest gesture makes a huge difference.

Here's how you can help:

Donate funds via PayPal and we will send that money directly to her.

Thank you so much, ladies. Your assistance in any way is tremendous and greatly appreciated.

LITB,
Jessica Harwood Bouwsma
President, Xi Omega Xi Virtual Alumnae Chapter for Beta Etas

Myths About Family Violence

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• Myth:Family violence is rare...
  
  • Although statistics on family violence are not precise, it's clear that millions of children, women and even men are abused physically by family members and other intimates.
  • Myth:Family violence is confined to the lower classes...
  • Reports from police records, victim services, and academic studies show domestic violence exists equally in every socioeconomic group, regardless of race or culture.
  • Myth:Alcohol and drug abuse are the real causes of violence in the home...
  • Because many male batterers also abuse alcohol and other drugs, it's easy to conclude that these substances may cause domestic violence. They apparently do increase the lethality of the violence, but they also offer the batterer another excuse to evade responsibility for his behavior. The abusive man -- and men are the abusers in the overwhelming majority of domestic violence incidents -- typically controls his actions, even when drunk or high, by choosing a time and place for the assaults to take place in private and go undetected. In addition, successful completion of a drug treatment program does not guarantee an end to battering. Domestic violence and substance abuse are two different problems that should be treated separately.
  • Myth:Battered wives like being hit, otherwise they would leave...
  • The most common response to battering-- "Why doesn't she just leave?"-- ignores economic and social realities facing many women. Shelters are often full, and family, friends, and the workplace are frequently less than fully supportive. Faced with rent and utility deposits, day care, health insurance, and other basic expenses, the woman may feel that she cannot support herself and her children. Moreover, in some instances, the woman may be increasing the chance of physical harm or even death if she leaves an abusive spouse.

Adapted from:: "Preventing Violence Against Women, Not Just a Women's Issue," National Crime Prevention Council, 1995.

 information from here

Who Are the Victims?

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• Women were attacked about six times more often by offenders with whom they had an intimate relationship than were male violence victims.
• Nearly 30 percent of all female homicide victims were known to have been killed by their husbands, former husbands or boyfriends.
• In contrast, just over 3 percent of male homicide victims were known to have been killed by their wives, former wives or girlfriends.
• Husbands, former husbands, boyfriends and ex-boyfriends committed more than one million violent acts against women.
• Family members or other people they knew committed more than 2.7 million violent crimes against women.
• Husbands, former husbands, boyfriends and ex-boyfriends committed 26 percent of rapes and sexual assaults.
• Forty-five percent of all violent attacks against female victims 12 years old and older by multiple offenders involve offenders they know.
• The rate of intimate-offender attacks on women separated from their husbands was about three times higher than that of divorced women and about 25 times higher than that of married women.
• Women of all races were equally vulnerable to attacks by intimates.
• Female victims of violence were more likely to be injured when attacked by someone they knew than female victims of violence who were attacked by strangers.

information found here

The Positive Side of Joining a Sorority or Fraternity

article from associatedcontent.com

by: Amanda Sposato, Jan 24, 2007 

Based on the portrayal of sororities and fraternities in movies such as "Animal House" and television shows such as MTV's "Sorority Life", it wouldn't be a surprise that a parent sending

their child off to college for the first time may send them with a big anti-Greek message: Don't join up with one of those organizations. Based on the media, you can't blame parents for being worried.

When I started college, I swore I would never join a sorority. I'd fallen into the trap of believing everything I'd heard, from hazing horror stories to the high cost of being part of these groups. Besides, I wasn't sorority material. I'd never been the popular girl, nor was I even the pretty one. Yes, I went to college with a great many judgments, but sorority and fraternity life had never been portrayed to me as anything but a big party that only those higher up on the social ladder were a part of.

In my first year of college, I found out that I wasn't completely right about the whole thing. As a founding member of my own sorority, I was given the chance to mingle with other Greek organizations on my small college campus as well as sororities from other colleges in the state. What I found was quite surprising to me. Fraternities and sororities weren't all bad. Granted, there were a few stereotypes that were met quite well. They did throw some good parties after all. But my predetermined impression was all but shattered and I spent my college career reaping the benefits of being in a sorority.

To any parent worried about their student joining a fraternity or a sorority, or to any college student unsure if a Greek organization is for them, the following is a list of the positive benefits of joining. You won't see these on a movie or a reality show, but they are just as real and can make for a great college experience.

Shedding a voice on Domestic Violence..

Watch Christina Aguilera's video for her song "Oh Mother," a tribute to her mother's courage as a survivor of domestic violence.

BH all "dressed up" & decorated for the holidays

The house is beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and Hanukkah. The new member class of 2010 joined together to decorate the house for the holiday season.  The house director, Marie provided Holiday Music, warm cider, and snacks... Photos from outside the house will be posted soon!